


Space Beef Jerky

by allislaughter



Series: Copper Wires [4]
Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 06:58:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1541777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allislaughter/pseuds/allislaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As promised, GCBC visit Benny at his house. There, GCBC find out some things about Benny that catches them off-guard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space Beef Jerky

**Author's Note:**

> From this fic on, the Copper Wires series will start to include some heavily indulgent headcanons that I'm sure some people will disagree with, but for the sake of the series let's say it's true in the Copper Wires universe and not necessarily in other universes or even other fics I may write. Thank you, and enjoy.

Bad Cop let out an aggravated sigh as he drove up the hill. _"Do we really need to do this?"_ he thought.

_"We promised we'd show up, and we can't cancel now,"_ Good Cop answered. _"He'd be disappointed."_

_"You're the one who promised."_

_"You didn't say no."_

Scowling, Bad Cop parked his car in front of Benny's "house" and grabbed a sheet of paper from the cup holder. "So, do we just walk in or what?"

"I guess we do," Good Cop answered, exiting the car and going up to the door. "He gave us permission at least."

_"Unlike how we didn't give him permission to just walk into our house."_

_"Shush."_ Good Cop pulled a face, but then smiled again, glancing to the paper and then reaching to the keypad to type the code. After a moment, the door slid open and Good Cop walked in. He stared a moment at the next door in front of him unsure what exactly he was supposed to do.

The door behind him closed, and he turned just in time to see a computer screen turn on, announcing "atmosphere stabilizing." A moment later, the second door slid open, and he sighed and shook his head before walking in.

"Benny?" he called out, looking around the area. Everything had a dated sci-fi look to it, though considering this was 80s technology, he supposed it looked futuristic to the spaceman. "Benny, I'm here."

"In here, Cops!" Benny called from the next room over.

Good Cop smiled and walked into the room, stopping short and staring wide-eyed. Bad Cop pulled an incredulous look, not so much at the giant astronaut training equipment Benny was in the process of constructing but more at Benny himself.

Benny had his knees on the ground as he screwed in another panel on whatever monstrous training machine he had made, and once that was done, he stood and faced him, smiling as bright-eyed as ever, but less bulky than either Cop had seen him before. Significantly less bulky at that, not quite what Bad Cop had imagined he'd look like without the spacesuit on.

Good Cop laughed nervously, trying to hide the fact that he was staring. "Very nice… Patterned shirt… Very 80s…?"

"Actually, 70s," Benny answered, pulling out the bottom of the shirt to look at it. "A lot of my clothes from when I was in my 20s still fit, so…"

"Wait, what?" Bad Cop asked. "Exactly how old are you?"

Benny looked up at him and pouted. "I'm an _80s_ space guy. How old do you _think_ I am?"

"You mean you're _actually_ from the 80s?" Bad Cop continued. "That's not just a gimmick?"

Benny rolled his eyes. "You're, what? Forty or fifty? I'm _sixty._ "

"My gosh!" Good Cop covered his mouth, trying to disguise his shock. "R-Really?"

Grinning, he snapped his fingers and pointed a finger pistol at Good Cop, winking at him. "Look good for my age, don't I?"

Bad Cop frowned at him and pushed his hand down. "You look like you haven't actually aged since the 80s. Is that part of your space logic whatever?"

Benny shrugged. "I guess. Hey, pick up that toolbox for me, will you?" He bent over to gather some spare parts and began to walk away.

Bad Cop grabbed the tool box and followed after him. Furrowing his brow, he thought to his other self, _"You're flirting with a sixty-year-old, you weird-o."_

_"I can't believe we didn't realize that before. He would have had to be in his 30s to be in the 80s space program."_

_"I can't believe he looks like_ that. _He's so… Skinny without his suit on."_

_"And when he's walking like that you can really see how his-."_

"Shut up!" Bad Cop growled. He looked up to see a questioning look from Benny, and he stared down, trying to hide his red face. "Sorry. Good Cop was…"

"It's okay," Benny assured him, shifting the parts he was holding to pat Bad Cop on the arm. He walked a few more feet, making it to an unfinished side of the training equipment and set the parts on the ground before taking the tool box from Bad Cop. "So, like… You're not really looking at _me_. Do I look different than you thought I would?"

"Just a bit," Good Cop answered, smiling sheepishly. "It's hard to tell when you have that suit on all the time."

"Haha, yeah…" Benny stood up and flexed his arms a bit. "I actually used to be more muscular than thin, but I've been having to do aerobic exercises more than anaerobic. Like, you know, I _have_ to stay fit, and aerobic is healthier for me to do."

"Why is that?" Bad Cop mumbled.

Benny dropped his arms, blinking and not saying a word. Finally, he grinned, laughing as he led Bad Cop to another room by his elbow. "Hey, do you want something to eat? We have space ice cream, space fruit, space spaghetti, space soup, space-."

"Do you have _anything_ that doesn't start with 'space'?" Bad Cop interrupted, pulling his arm away.

Benny pursed his lips before smiling nervously and squeaking out "Beef jerky?"

Bad Cop narrowed his eyes at him. Good Cop grinned and nodded. "Okay, I'd like some beef jerky."

Nodding, Benny led Good Cop to the kitchen and began to dig around a drawer for the jerky. "I also have various drink mixes and, uh… Scones I think?"

"I like croissants better," Good Cop answered, watching as Benny bent over the drawer in search of the food.

"Croissants are good," Benny agreed. "But not really suitable for space. Too buttery. They'd spoil quickly can cause problems due to the mold and microorganisms that start growing on them."

Bad Cop sighed and shook his head. "You realize we aren't in space?"

"Well, I…" Benny stood up and frowned at Bad Cop. "Dude, c'mon. You don't need to keep doing that. Just let me have this."

_"He really doesn't like being told he's not in space, does he?"_ his other self asked. _"Maybe you should just let him pretend."_

"Ugh, fine, okay," Bad Cop sighed. "I'll stop pointing it out. Do you at least have coffee? Even weird space coffee?"

Benny grinned at him and mock saluted. "Weird space coffee coming right up!"

Not too long later, they were seated at a table with their coffee and jerky. Bad Cop sipped his drink, setting the warm cup back on the table afterwards to let Good Cop take over and get some food. Benny watched them, grinning, and Good Cop smiled back. As soon as he swallowed, Bad Cop narrowed his eyes at Benny. "What are you smiling about?"

"It's just always so cool to see the two of you switch in and out," Benny answered. "You really are two different people, then?"

"Something like that…" Bad Cop motioned at the cup of coffee in Benny's hand. "Should you really be drinking that? As…" He cleared his throat. "Excitable as you are…"

"Mine's decaf," Benny answered. He shook his head. "But, no, seriously, how do the two of you work? Has there always been two of you, or did one of you show up over time like my space logic did or what?"

Good Cop shook his head. "Don't worry about that, Benny. How much of the training equipment have you managed to build since I last saw you?"

"I just need to finish that one you saw and then I'll made everything we need to get you space ready," Benny beamed happily. "It'll be nice to have new company in space with me. Normally I just bring Moppy. As good company as he is, he can get a little pushy sometimes."

"Moppy?" Bad Cop asked. "As in a… A mop?" He glanced around the kitchen and pointed. "As in _that_ mop?"

Benny looked over his shoulder and gasped excitedly. "Moppy! When did you get in here?" He jumped out of his seat and brought the mop over, propping it up in the chair next to him. "Cops, this is Moppy. Moppy, this is Cops." Benny moved the mop around and spoke out of the side of his mouth in a more cartoony voice. "Hello, Cops!"

Bad Cop stared, jaw slack and sunglasses falling down his nose. Good Cop smiled politely and nodded in greeting. "Hello, Moppy."

_"Is he messing with us?"_ Bad Cop asked. _"This has got to be a joke."_

_"Best humor him anyway,"_ Good Cop answered. _"You know how he gets when you point out that he's not in space."_ Good Cop busied himself with eating jerky while Benny and Moppy got into their own casual conversation, occasionally asking Good Cop a question that he merely nodded to. _"Besides,"_ Good Cop added. _"I've seen worse imaginary friends."_

_"You've HAD worse imaginary friends."_

Good Cop choked suddenly and began coughing, jarring Benny from his conversation. Benny let Moppy fall to the ground with a clatter as he rushed over to help Good Cop. Benny quickly got a cup of water and brought it back, and Good Cop gratefully took it, using it to clear his throat a moment after. He breathed heavily while Benny watched him in worry.

"Y-You okay?" Benny asked. "What happened?"

"I- I'm fine..." Good Cop smiled reassuringly. He stood up and paused to push his chair back under the table. "Why don't you show me some of the equipment you'll be having me use?"

"Okay…" Benny gave Good Cop one last look of concern before leading him out of the room.

As soon as Benny's back was to him, Good Cop pulled a worried look, glancing to the mop under the table for a split second before keeping an eye on Benny.

_"Okay, I know_ that _wasn't flirting,"_ Bad Cop observed. _"What happened? You already know about the imaginary friend thing."_

_"What if Benny…?"_

_"No. Space is his thing. THAT isn't going to happen to him. Especially not with something as stupid as a mop."_

_"Right, okay... I overreacted."_ Good Cop watched Benny as he explained each equipment. Once there was a pause in the excited narration, he slipped in a question. "So, how soon do you want me to start using this? And how often?"

"Whenever you want to start, really," Benny answered. "Maybe once a week at least? You need to use it regularly to get used to it, but it doesn't need to be like every day since I know you're busy with your policing job and watching 'Throw the Brick at Him' and stuff."

"It's not like I _only_ watch that show," Bad Cop interrupted. Good Cop shook his head. "I can come over every Saturday at 10 AM if you want."

"Fine with me," Benny laughed. "This will be great! You'll love going into space with me, I promise."

Good Cop smiled warmly. He then noticed a clock on the wall and hummed softly. "I should get going. I'll see you next week, buddy, okay?"

"Same time, same place," Benny nodded. "Let me get my suit on- I need to do some work outside- And I can show you how to exit properly at the same time." He walked through a door and then leaned back out, looking up at Good Cop. "No peeking, though. Wait here."

Bad Cop grunted, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. "I'm not going to peek. Just don't take too long."

"Don't worry, I've mastered the art of getting on my suit in less than a minute!" Benny disappeared behind the door again and less than a minute later came back into the room, clad once again in his spacesuit. "Ready!"

Bad Cop followed Benny to the airlock, watching carefully as the spaceman explained how to use it. They walked through the first door, and as soon as it closed, Bad Cop watched as Benny began to float. He refrained from commenting, but instead just shook his head in annoyance.

Once they were out of the second door, Benny looked from Bad Cop's car to the cop himself. "Well, see you around!" He held out his arms. "Good-bye hug?"

"I'm not going to hug you," Bad Cop snapped at him. Before Benny had a chance to deflate from the rejection, Good Cop quickly pulled him into a hug. He let go and waved, backing towards his car. "Alright, bye!"

Bad Cop hurried into the car, struggling to get his keys into the ignition and speeding off as soon as the car started.

_"That went mostly well,"_ his other self thought.

_"Other than you choking and me being… me."_

_"Don't be so hard on yourself. You can't help how you are. Though it would be nice if you were kinder to him..."_

_"I don't like him like you do."_

_"You don't like anyone like I do."_

Bad Cop pursed his lips as he slowed at a stop light. " _I'm_ the weird-o of the two of us, aren't I?" Good Cop shook his head. "Don't say that." Bad Cop sighed through clenched teeth and hit the gas pedal once the light turned green.

_"Well, if anything,"_ his other self thought. _"You have time to at least become friendly with him even if you don't want what I want."_

_"You just have to keep making plans with him, don't you?"_

_"You still didn't say no… You can't be_ that _against it…."_

Bad Cop groaned. He would just have to wait and see what would happen next week.


End file.
